Finding Calm: A Mom's Guide to Yelling Less and Thriving More

As mothers, we often find ourselves in a whirlwind of emotions. From overwhelming joy to frustration, anger, and sometimes even rage, the spectrum of feelings can be intense and bewildering. It's easy to get lost in the chaos of daily life, especially when these emotions seem to come out of nowhere and leave us questioning our sanity. If you've ever found yourself yelling, lashing out, or saying things you later regretted, know that You are not alone and are still a good mom.

Recognizing that these big emotions do not reflect your worth as a mother is essential. Instead, they are signals from your body and mind, indicating that something deeper is at play. Understanding the root causes of these emotions is the first step toward reclaiming your calm and becoming the confident, connected mama you desire and deserve to be.

Life stressors, lack of support, relationship issues, sleep deprivation, and anxiety are just a few common triggers that can fuel feelings of overwhelm and anger if left unaddressed. For many mothers, myself included, anxiety was a surprising revelation on this journey toward becoming a calmer mama.

When I first embarked on this path, I felt constantly on edge, ready to snap at the slightest provocation. And many times, I did. I'd snap, I'd be snarky or I'd shut down altogether. It wasn't until I confronted my own emotions, acknowledging that I had them, and learning to understand and name them head-on, that I saw a real change in myself and my relationship with my children.

If you find yourself stuck in a cycle of anger and frustration, here are three essential truths to remember:

         1. You aren't alone: Countless mothers struggle with these emotions daily. They can be overcome with support, understanding of their mindset, and learning new tools and skills.

        2. I've been there: As someone who has walked in your shoes, I understand these challenges. I know how it feels to be consumed by anger and resentment, and I'm here to tell you that there is hope for a brighter, calmer future.

       3. Addressing the root causes changes everything: You may have heard that when addressing kids' behavior, it’s essential to recognize that something is always it. Looking at what’s underneath the behavior helps address the behavior itself. It’s the same for us as mamas. By exploring and understanding the underlying reasons for your emotions, you can break free from the cycle of anger and reconnect with yourself and your children more meaningfully.

You may be asking, that’s great, but where do I start? How do I begin this journey toward greater emotional well-being and connection? 

Here are some practical steps to help you get started:

       1. Practice self-compassion, and lots of it. Be gentle with yourself and acknowledge that it's okay to struggle sometimes. The goal is progress, not perfection. There is no such thing as perfect parenting. You're always doing the best you can with the resources you have. 

      2. Prioritize self-care: Yes, we’re going there. Self-care is not a luxury. It’s a necessity. Even 10 minutes matters. Whether it's movement, creativity, breathing, or being quiet, make caring for yourself non-negotiable. 

      3. Communicate openly with your children: Let your kids know that you're working on managing your emotions and invite their understanding. Let kids see and hear your feelings and share what you are doing to take care of yourself. It really is okay! This models emotional well-being and creates safety for them to share too.

      4. Practice mindfulness: Cultivate awareness of and notice your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, and reflect on them after the moment as passed. Practices like meditation, breath work, or walking outside can help you stay grounded when things feel intense. 

        5. Seek support: Whether from a trusted friend, family member, therapist, or parent coach, don't hesitate to ask for help. Needing support does not mean you're a bad parent. In fact, questioning, reflecting, and reaching out takes courage.

Talking about your feelings and experiences can be cathartic and clarifying. Support helps you gain new perspectives and build healthier coping mechanisms, for yourself and for your family. 

Remember, the journey toward becoming a calmer, more connected mom is not always easy, but it is worth it. When you meet your emotions with compassion and courage can create more peace inside yourself and at home.

So take a deep breath, mama, and know you can find your way to calm even amid the chaos.

If you want more support navigating big emotions and creating more safety at home, book a complimentary call with me today using the Work With Me link at the top of the page.

You’ve got this.

xx
Claire

Claire Cetti is a PCI Certified® Parent Coach and Positive Parenting Educator who has helped hundreds of parents who are struggling with frustration, anger, and yelling become calmer, more confident, and more connected with their kids for almost 10 years. She is also a stepmom and the mom of four young adult children, and she lives in Santa Barbara with her husband and fur baby, Bella.​