HOW DO YOU START YOUR DAY?

How are you starting out your day?

Aside from the normal routines you may already have, such as journaling, meditating/prayer and exercising, (which are all absolutely awesome, amazing and highly recommended for your own emotional/metal and physical well being, I am talking about before you even get out of bed.

What are your very first thoughts when you wake up?

The other day, a mama was sharing with me in light of all that’s going on, when she wakes up in the am, for a split second she feels ok and all is good! Then she remembers and she feels the angst and anxiety begin to arise within her. At which point she gets up and checks her phone for any updates and information that is out there that she may need to know. Ultimately, she ends up feeling even more anxious and worried and it carries out throughout her day impacting not only her but her kids and others around her.

I could completely relate and understand how and why she was feeling and reacting the way she was. Can you relate?

I am wondering;

How are you coping with the uncertainty and continual changes that are showing up each day?

How do you even begin to feel somewhat in control and ok, when things feel so out of control and not ok around you?

There are several ways of coping. Some healthy and some not so healthy. One way of coping is learning how to create, and maintain a sense of balance and well being within us, especially with all that’s going on with COVID19, kids at home due to schools being closed, along with the economic and financial impacts many are experiencing.

What does creating balance and wellbeing within us even mean?

Here’s the thing. The hard truth? We don’t have much control over many of these very real challenges happening around us and that can make us feel very out of control and powerless.

Here’s a wonderful truth! We do have control over what is happening within us, despite the challenges around us, which can help us feel in control and empowered.

One way we can control what is within us is by bringing forth the blessings, the silver linings that currently exist in our lives, along side the challenges that are there as well. In doing so, we can bring a sense of balance, calm and clarity, not only for ourselves, but for those around us also.

And how do we do that? We do this by managing our mind and our thoughts.

What are we thinking about? What are we focusing on?

How are we feeling about those things?

Why does this even matter?

It matters because our thoughts, what we are thinking at any given time throughout the day, directly affects our emotions/how we feel, which in turn directly impacts our reactions, or responses, to the people/circumstances/life around us.

Take a moment to read that again.

If this is true about our thoughts, that they create what we are feeling in any given moment, then wouldn’t it make sense that if we become aware of what they are and what we are focusing on, we can actually CHOOSE and change our thoughts and what we are focusing on?

Wouldn’t doing this help us feel better thus help us respond (vs react) better?

Before we move on, please hear this: it’s important to note, this idea of managing thoughts isn’t to dismiss or avoid, the very real challenges we are facing or the discomfort of not knowing what’s next or the uncertainly of life. But it IS about us being able to create a state of gratitude and appreciation within us during tough times, literally. In doing so, it gives us the ability to approach and face any challenge from a place of positivity and hope vs from a place of fear and negativity.

Let’s play this out and how this could look for you in the morning, starting with right when you wake up.

When you first wake up. What are your first thoughts? Are you even aware of them?

Do your first thoughts sometimes sound like:

“Ugh, I didn't get enough sleep!”

“The kids are up already?? Now I won’t have time to do (xyz)! I never have enough time”

“And I have so much to do today…..”

It is VERY common for our first thoughts of the day to be more on the negative side of things, coming from a place of lack (thought), not enough sleep, then frustration(emotion), the kids are up already…I never have enough time, leading to overwhelm and perhaps a reaction to kids or people around us because…I have so much to do today and y’all are in my way!

Sound familiar at all? It does to me because that WAS me.

Become aware of what your first thoughts are when you wake up in the morning, and ask yourself, is this a negative thought or a positive thought? How does it make me feel? And how/what can I think of that is more positive and hopeful?

IMPORTANT TO NOTE: Be non judgmental in your questioning when you are looking and seeing the thoughts you may be having. It’s about awareness, not judgement. Take the information, acknowledge it and if it is more negative, that’s ok! You can then say:

“Oh, look at that! That’s more of a negative thought.”

“What can I say to reframe that?”

Or

“What is another thought I can replace that with that feels good to me right now?”

These thoughts don’t have to be monumental or grandiose. Thoughts of gratitude and appreciation for even the smallest things can do wonders in shifting our mindset and emotions in any given moment.

Some thoughts I have personally come up with before:

~How much I love my pillow. #truth. I love my pillow.

~The sky is really blue this morning. Something about the sky always brings me calm.

~Appreciating the silence. Caveat: I realize this may not work for you, especially if you have littles in the house, HOWEVER, if you do have littles and they are calling for you, (or yelling or crying for you)…rather than having thoughts that may be along the lines of:

“Will they ever sleep in??” The answer is yes, they will And if even they don’t, they will eventually get old enough to get up on their own, at which point you may be waking up longing for the days when your kids were babies. (That’s another topic all together)

or

“OMgosh, they’re up already? I’ll never get ahead of my day ”

A thought reframe could look like reminding yourself how amazing it is that you get to have these little humans in your life and…

“I am so happy and lucky to be able to wake up to a brand new day.” I like to add a BRAND NEW DAY because the emotion this elicits in me is relief that I always get another chance at life, TODAY.”

Reframing our very first thoughts of the day can radically change how we feel before we even put our feet on the floor to get up and start our day which can radically change how we respond to whatever comes our way.

A quick additional TIP??

After you’ve checked your thoughts when you wake up, reframed if necessary, and have a sense of gratitude and calm, DON’T LOOK AT YOUR PHONE/COMPUTER/MESSAGES/EMAILS FIRST THING IN THE AM!

Especially not before your feet hit the floor.

This is not to say you shouldn’t be informed and in the know with what’s going on and potential updates but, truly, should getting that information be the first thing you do in the morning??

If we are wanting to create a sense of balance and calm for our day, these updates are a surefire way to dismantle that pretty quick.

I know for myself, if I check my phone right upon waking, and I haven’t done what I need to care for myself well FIRST, all these messages, news alerts, updates and emails are in control of the way my day is about feel and go, rather than me being in control of my own state of mind, emotions and well being as I head out and navigate what is ahead of me in this day.

Try this instead:

~Check/Reframe thoughts before getting up.

~Get your cup of coffee/tea/lemon water, whatever your am drink of choice is and enjoy it. I LOVE my coffee in the morning. Especially in my favorite mug. Like I said, it’s the little things that mean more than you know. Even favorite mugs.

~Say good morning to the humans you are blessed to have in your home (if they are awake already) And if they are, you’ve already started your day with appreciation and gratitude so you’re already feeling better.

~If they are still asleep and you can, journal a bit, meditate/pray or go take your walk.

At that time, once you’ve done all you need to start your day with a good, calm, balanced mindset, THEN check your phone/computer for any updates, messages or emails that have come your way.

I challenge and encourage you, for the next 7 days, to try this:

Start becoming aware of your very first thoughts in the am when you awake. If need be, reframe or replace negative thoughts at that moment with something positive that you are grateful for. Please be patient and gentle with yourself. It takes practice. Eventually the next step of managing of your mind/thoughts can be done throughout your day. But like I always say, start small and what better to start with than very first thought of the day.

Refrain from checking your phone right upon waking. If that feels difficult for you, again, start small and give yourself 5 minutes before you’ll check. Then increase it to 10min, 15 or even 20 minutes before you check your phone for any updates, messages and emails. Give yourself this much needed and deserved time to wake up, greet your loved ones, have coffee…whatever that may look like, and intentionally set the tone of your day on your terms. Not by the external terms/sources, that will still be there, after you’ve taken the time to take care of YOU.

And if you make this your practice, your new habit, YOU will be so grateful you took the time to do so. I can pretty much guarantee you.

xx

Claire