LIVE WHAT'S TRUE FOR YOU, NOT WHAT OTHERS EXPECT OF YOU

This is true in all areas of our life, the need and importance to be true to ourselves, and this is absolutely true in parenting as well. How often do we parent from the expectations others place on us? What they think we should or shouldn’t do as parents vs doing what we want or know we should do based on the intuition we have within us and who our child inherently is?

I’ll give you a live example from a mom I worked with previously. And mind you, while I am giving this one particular example, this challenge is present in one way shape or form in MOST of the parents I work with. This mom (I’ll call her Sarah) and I were finishing up our 4th session together when I noticed she had mentioned on several occasions her concern around “someone seeing” her child’s challenging behaviors and witnessing the way in which she was parenting her child during such times. Sarah found she even worried about what people would think of her when she was disciplining/parenting in the privacy of her own home.

It was then I pointed out to Sarah that she seemed to be pretty concerned with what other people thought. I asked her what she was most worried about as far as people seeing her interact with her child during these moments. What eventually came to light was Sarah worried she wasn’t a good mom. She feared the judgement of these people around her, mostly strangers, and what kind of mom they thought she was would confirm her biggest worry. That she wasn’t.

This admission led to a conversation about what would happen if she didn’t worry about what people were thinking? What would happen if she put the blinders on and focused on her daughter instead. What her daughter needed and how she could meet her where she as at. What would that feel like and how would that change her reaction(s)/response to her child and the situation at hand?

It was something she, honestly, hadn’t thought of before.

This questioning led her to begin understanding that she, the mama, is the one that truly knows her child better than anyone else. Strangers or even good friends and family, while they may have their thoughts and judgements, do not know her child like she does. I encouraged her, the next time she found herself in a difficult situation with her child, instead of worrying what others thought or were thinking to focus her eyes on her child only, in that moment, and see what happens. How would it change the way she approached and responded to her daughter and the situation at hand.

Sarah felt really encouraged by the idea of putting aside all the “eyes” she worried were watching her, and focusing on her child instead by helping them through the difficult time they were having in that moment. Being able to parent from this place of what is true to yourself, what is true for your child, and not what others expect of you is an absolute game changer. Both for you as a parent AND for your child. It allows you to trust yourself to be able to meet your child where they are at and navigate the situation at hand in that present moment.

What about you?

~Do you struggle with managing the expectations of others, whether they be perceived or real?

~How would using this mindset change the way you parent?

~How can you begin to tap into what’s true and real for you, and your child, and parent from there?

~And, in what ways to you envision this impacting the relationship with your child?

Email me at claire@ccparentcoach and let me know.

I would love to hear from you.

xx

Claire