Why Sitting With Your Child’s Feelings Matters More Than Fixing Them

When your child's feelings get hurt or they struggle emotionally, everything within you wants to improve it. You want to help them to feel better quickly.

Maybe someone was mean to them or said something hurtful. Or perhaps they lost a game, and they're frustrated and are saying they aren't smart or always lose. Whatever the situation may be, when your kiddo is struggling and not feeling so great, you may find yourself responding by saying something like:

 "It'll be okay."
"They probably didn't mean it."
"You're strong; don't let it bother you."

"Let's get a treat and forget about it."

And let's be real. None of that is wrong.

These responses come from love, our desire to protect our kids from pain, and our desire to make our kiddos happy. 

And. 

It also comes from the discomfort we feel when we see them upset. Understandable.

But here's the thing. Sometimes, in our rush to fix, we unintentionally send a different message:
➡️ That their feelings are too much to handle

 ➡️ That sadness, anger, or hurt needs to be avoided.

 ➡️ That it's better to move on instead of moving through big or hard emotions

And here's the truth:
Kids don't need us to fix their feelings.
They need us to feel them with them.

When we pause and sit with them, whether they're crying over a lost game, hurt by a friend, or disappointed in themselves, we give them the kind of support that stays with them for life.

We're teaching them:

✨Emotions aren't problems to solve; they're experiences to move through.
✨You aren't alone in your challenging moments.
✨Your feelings matter. And so do you.

This kind of presence builds emotional resilience. It deepens trust.

It builds empathy.

A child who has empathy modeled and given to them is a child who will grow to learn how to extend empathy to others around them.

So what does this look like in real life?
It's as simple as saying:

• "That sounds really hard."
  
  
• "I'm here with you."
  
  
• "I believe you."
  
  
• "You don't have to talk.. I'm just sitting here with you."
  
  

It might feel uncomfortable initially, especially if you weren't given that kind of space as a child. But you're recreating a new pattern every time you pause instead of going into problem-solving.

The beautiful thing about sitting with your kiddo through the hard emotions that leave them feeling seen, heard, and understood is that their ability to solve problems becomes much more likely and easier when they come out the other side.

In other words, when your kiddo feels like you've truly seen, heard, and felt their perspective, they are much more receptive to what you have to teach, guide, or help them.

And that, Mama, is powerful.

And if you're wondering what to say in those moments, I've got you.

I created a free resource with 12 simple statements and questions to use when your child is upset or overwhelmed.

They'll help you stay grounded, help you hold the space, and offer emotional support that allows your child to feel seen and safe.

✨ You can download it here:

You've got this, Mama.

xx

🤟🏻

Claire

If you'd like more help managing your emotions while supporting your kiddo during big emotions, book your free 30-minute consultation today.