Blame and Growth Cannot Coexist

(A message for moms stuck in yelling patterns and ready to do the deeper work)

If you're stuck in a yelling pattern and you keep blaming your kiddo because they're not listening...

or your partner because they're not doing things the way you want...
or your boss. Your sister. Your mother. Your entire life…

You will stay stuck.

Let me be clear:
This doesn't mean it's not frustrating when your child doesn't listen.
Or when you and your partner can't seem to agree on how to parent your children.
Those things can be true.

But also?

It's true that you are 100% responsible for your reaction.

Yelling is an expression of anger or frustration.
And while it might feel automatic, it's still yours.
It's not your kid's fault.
It's not your partner's fault.
It's yours to navigate. Yours to shift.

And yes, it's possible that part of the reason you're yelling is because you were never taught how to express anger in a healthy, effective way.

Maybe you learned or were modeled that yelling = control.
A way to get what you want.
Or that shutting down = safety.
A way to stay out of trouble.

That's real.
This could also be part of your Mother Wound.

(If you're curious about Mother Wounds, reply to this email and let me know.)

But here's the deal:
You can't heal while still blaming.
You can't grow while staying stuck in the belief that "if THEY would just change, I'd feel better."

The shift begins when you stop waiting for others to change or do the regulation for you, and choose to respond differently yourself.

✨ Take responsibility for your reactions.
✨ Recognize and Acknowledge that yelling isn't healthy or effective.
✨ And choose (and commit) to learn a new way.

Blame will keep you spinning in circles, keeping you stuck in the same place.
Responsibility will move you forward, toward the calm and connection you truly want.

You, Mama, get to decide which one you keep choosing.

You've got this.

xx,

🤟🏻

Claire

If this resonated, and you're ready to stop yelling but don’t know where to begin. I'm here.
Schedule a free 30-minute call, and let’s talk about what support could look like for you.
You don’t have to figure this out alone. 💛